A couple of months ago, I was having a conversation with my friend Ms. Sharada and we were generally chatting about the old days, about when we grew up and how life was simpler, quieter and more peaceful. During this conversation I mentioned to her about how we used buckets to take bath and how most of the times we got only one bucket of hot water! That bucket of water gave you the perspective that this is all you have today. Make do with it. I used to draw imaginary lines inside the bucket so that I knew if I had enough before the soap and after the soap! :)  Budgeting the water within the bucket.

My children nowadays stand under the shower for hours sometimes and I tell them about our 'bucket' days. In fact most of my friends are 'shower' people but I have remained a 'bucket' guy. Occasionally I become a 'shower' person but I feel very guilty to use the shower even when I do.

Recently I visited a huge office complex in Mumbai. It had an impressive garden with fountains as you entered and a very large foyer with a huge, two storey tall water fountain. Massive amounts of water was being pumped down from the top which made a loud sound almost giving you an effect of standing near a waterfall. I was truly taken by awe at this creation. While I kept staring at it, I could imagine the hundreds of litres of water that was being pumped every minute to create this awesome effect.

In the evening after the appointment, I visited my friend's house very close to this office complex. After a nice dinner, when I went to wash my hands, I was given a mug of water from a nearby drum. I asked, if there was a water problem? And his mother sadly retorted that we get water for only an hour every morning. And now for the last few weeks, it has reduced to half an hour. There is a daily struggle for water and we are now planning to buy some water tankers every day so that we have enough water but all the members of the building are not co-operating. I remembered the waterfall at the office complex. 

Coming back to the shower, I feel guilty because with a shower you don't know how much water you are using. Is it a bucket, two buckets or several buckets? Have I used up the water meant for my neighbour? Maybe two neighbours. Where does the extra water come from? Somebody must be feeling the pinch. Is it my friend? For many years I lived in a house where we struggled for water everyday. I know the struggle. It is one of the most un-productive things you can ever do before getting ready for work. I have had to climb the tank on top of our terrace to check for the water level at some of the most crucial times and I never enjoyed it.

These experiences taught me that the next house we move into should have 24 x 7 water. Whatever the price. And I did pay a heavy price for it! :) But while we enjoy the shower, somebody somewhere is always climbing the tank to check if there is enough water. But, why am I telling you all this? Is there something more to this than what meets the eye?

Wait for The Shower and the Bucket Part II!

I was at Darjeeling a few weeks ago and had an opportunity to travel by the famous toy train which is a World Heritage site now. The train runs from Darjeeling to New Jalpaiguri (NJP) and the track runs along the road. It is like the train which we have seen numerous times in the famous song sequence, “Mere Sapnon Ki Rani Kab Aayegi Tu”, where Sharmila Tagore with a bird’s nest perched on her head is being pursued by the head-shaking Rajesh Khanna.

The total journey from Darjeeling to NJP is around seven hours but they run a smaller version for the tourists from Darjeeling to a small town called Ghoom. This journey takes about two hours with a 20 minute halt at a place called Batasia Loop (more on this later).

The beauty of this journey is its steam engine. It is a small engine made by the British in Scotland in 1889 and has a maximum speed of 30kmph!  The engine is shown here on the right. The train runs twice everyday and the sound of the engine and the whistle reverberates in the entire valley.

In fact, the second day of my trip, I heard the engine whistle across two hills and saw the small train winding its way on the sides of the hills. As on both sides of the road, there are houses, I could see the train only when it appeared for a fleeting second between the houses or when the smoke from the chimney would puff above the houses. This  scene will remain forever with me. I have tried to capture this scene here but the train is hidden by the houses but you can get an idea of what I would have felt. Look at the backdrop of the Himalayas. The tallest peak is Kanchenjunga.

We started from Darjeeling in earnest and winded our way towards Ghoom. I was constantly standing at the door as I wished to absorb every moment of the journey and not lose any scene or movement. The adjacent photo was taken standing on the doorway. After a few minutes it became a little uncomfortable as the steam engine spews a lot of carbon and one or the other invariably got into my eye. I had to get into the cabin and sit down. The train moves quite slowly. You can easily get down, walk along with the train and get inside again if you are a little agile. I fortunately did not try this stunt. When the train travels uphill, it makes a lot of noise and has to huff and puff to traverse the incline. And this entire experience includes the long lost aroma of burning coal, steam, oil and grease which unfortunately I cannot recreate in an article.

After almost an hour in which we travelled eight long kilometers, we reached the Batasia Loop. This loop was the creation of ingenious British and Indian engineers to raise the level of a train quickly by creating a loop like the grove on a screw. This loop was filmed in the movie “Professor” where another blind lover (Shammi Kapoor) is trying to lure the long-forgotten Kalpana. In the olden days, the loop was a plain ground but now it has been converted into a garden and a war memorial for all the Gorkhas who have given their lives for our country. We waited here for 20 minutes while the engine driver added more coal and the tourists took photos. Most of the tourists wanted to stand on the engine and take a photo. Note that the engine has been attached in the reverse as while going uphill, the engine has maximum torque in reverse gear. Here, I also joined the tourists in pretending to be an engine driver, something I wanted to be since childhood. There is something about being an engine driver. I have met so many people who wanted to be an engine driver, it is not a joke. This is the time I started talking to the real engine driver. I was trying to convince him about my love for engines and how I would love to ride the engine while it was moving and not pose for photos on a stationary engine like in a studio. The railways have very strict rules about people not travelling on the engine and this is what he said. I returned disappointed to our cabin. The train started its journey again and we reached Ghoom.

Here the engine was reversed and it was attached to the other side of the train. As the journey from Ghoom back to Darjeeling is downhill, the engine was attached straight and we started on our way. On the way back, the train was faster but after sometime the train halted in the middle of the road. We wondered for a few  minutes as we knew that there are no signals on this route. Cars and mini-buses stop whenever the train track crosses the road and moves from the right side of the road to the left side. The train always gets the right to move. Well, coming back to the pause in our travel, I got down with my brother to find out what was wrong. We saw that the engine had stopped to fill water! All along the track, small  tanks have been built that store water for the engine. You can see the pipe from the tank placed on the engine pouring large amounts of water. This is where the journey changed for me. My brother convinced the engine driver that we are true engine enthusiasts and he agreed! We both climbed into the engine and travelled the rest of the journey in the steam engine! A dream that was realised after nearly 25 years. The engine driver, Mr. Lalit explained to us all the controls and how he took 20 years to come to this stage. He started of as a helper with a senior driver; cleaning burnt coal and providing fresh coal for the engine. Mr. Lalit is shown here.

I blew the whistle a lot. It is just like the lever used by Dharmendra in Sholay. It is tied to a nylon rope and when you pull it, it releases high pressure steam that blows into a whistle like metallic structure. Very similar to the whistle we use. I also got to change the gears and brake when we approached Darjeeling station. Here I am on the driver’s seat at Darjeeling station. The journey was a very emotional one. Many of the passengers were envious of us, I could see. I looked up and smiled. Some dreams take half a lifetime to be fulfilled. But fulfilled they are! One just has to be patient…and continue dreaming…in the meanwhile.

It is another New Year again. We must all have celebrated the exit of the old year and happily invited the onset of the new one. For many years, I have wondered, what is so special about the New Year? Why is a good part of human civilisation involved in drinking and merry making to celebrate just another day? Maybe it is our inherent nature to find reasons to celebrate and the New Year is just one such opportunity. Or maybe there is a deeper reason.

Maybe the New Year is much more than just a reason to celebrate. Maybe, it is a symbol of hope. And as the Architect says about human civilisation in the Matrix, “Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness.” As the world grapples for answers after terror strikes, continuing genocide, recession, poverty, anger and frustration, we all look ahead with hope that things might change in the New Year. We look ahead and hope that things might be better, our politicians may realise that hoarding wealth does no good to our country, we hope that our spouse may understand us better, we hope that our roads might be better, we hope that our taxes may be lower, we hope that the recession should leave us unaffected, we hope that there may be more harmony and peace in this mad world.

It is our greatest strength as this is what keeps us alive and allows us to look ahead while many of us may want to give up and capitulate.

Think about it. What is going to change? Our politicians, the roads, our spouse, country, people, terrorism, taxes, recession? The reality is, nothing might change. And because we are deluded to think that things are going to improve, we are weak. We live in a false image of this world, a utopia never realised. Let us not cheat ourselves.

But, our strength is stronger than our weakness, which is why human civilisation continues to strive and excel even when we know that it might be completely hopeless. Our hopes continue to hold us together, it allows us to feel better about the next sunrise as somewhere we believe that before the end, everything will fall into its proper place and the ending will be a happy one. Which is why even though the New Year is just a date, a day when the Earth completes one more revolution around Sun, we wish to drink, dance and make merry…all in the hope that the next revolution will somehow be better than the previous one.

Irrespective of whether it is better or worse, we have to learn to smile and enjoy the journey, another interesting circle around the Sun on our vehicle of choice, Earth. Until the next one, hope (that magic word again!) you have a great revolution! Happy New Revolution! Happy New Hope!

While thinking about my life today, I found another very important yet un-thanked person who also did her best in shaping my life – my mom. I discovered her after my 35th year. In the true sense. What she must have gone through knowing that I never appreciated her or realized her importance, I will never know. Maybe I am afraid to ask.

I have got to know that while I was in her womb itself, she went through a very tough time as her in-laws were not very good to her. The only respite came from my father who was secretly supportive. Both have struggled together in Chennai against several odds and realized that if they had to prosper, Mumbai was the place.

My dad applied for a transfer in Indian Overseas Bank, where he was working and subsequently my mom also did the same. They came and settled initially in my grand-mother’s place in Chembur. Before that, during her 9th month of pregnancy, she was called by her mother-in-law to Chennai by train with the threat of divorce. I still get goose-pimples thinking of my mom travelling all alone by train with me in her womb, any time to deliver just to satisfy the whims of my father and her in-laws. I have shed many a tear imagining this scene.

Before her marriage, she was forced to work in a bank as my grand-father passed away untimely. She got a job in Syndicate Bank and her first posting was in Mulund. Apparently the Mulund branch at that time worked in two shifts, morning and evening with a 3 hour break. Since Chembur, the place where my mom stayed was very far away from Mulund, she chose to stay in the branch and come back in the night. For those three hours apparently, she used to be alone with the branch manager and his assistant. I am told that the manager used to lock her up in the mezzanine for 3 hours without water or access to toilet as he was indulging in some hanky-panky with his assistant. How inhuman man becomes in the throes of passion! She finally managed to convince the bank authorities and got a transfer from the branch, but imagine being locked up in a small mezzanine with no water and no access to toilet everyday for 3 hours!

In 1972 itself, she was detected with a strange condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa. It is a condition in which the rods and cons of the retina fail to regenerate thereby inducing partial and progressive blindness. Doctors predicted that in 10 years she will be completely blind. Till the time of this writing, which is 2008, she is still having a little eyesight, though very minimal, but it’s still there! I believe God had a purpose for this also. Even now she cooks for us, makes two or three items every day (my father is a voracious eater) and manages the complete house. Even if somebody stands in front of her, she cannot see unless you tell her that there is somebody and she focuses. We sometimes make fun of her, but it is very wrong. I know, but she takes it in the right spirit. But, we never mean anything in spite. It is my inherent ability or habit of converting any tragedy into humour.

With this deteriorating eyesight, she used to travel to a branch in a place called Kalbadevi for several years. Kalbadevi is like a 20 minute walk from Marine Lines station on the Western Railway network in Mumbai. The branch itself is in a place where 1000 people walk and do business in an area where only 100 people can comfortably stand. It is one of the main old market places of Mumbai. I still remember the steps that used to go to the branch. Each one was at least a metre high. I used to wonder how people climbed these steps everyday and who in the right mind might have designed them? After almost a decade at Kalbadevi, the powers that be at Syndicate Bank transferred her to a branch at Malad (E). She was comfortable for a few years as we used to stay in Malad (W). Then came the icing. Throughout this time, her eyesight kept deteriorating. The bank authorities knew this and they transferred her to a branch in Bassein! Bassein is almost the end of the suburban Mumbai. You have to change two trains from Malad to reach a station called Vasai and then take a bus to the office. The test was in Borivali (the station where she had to change trains). She had to change platforms and there in the crowd of almost a thousand people, not being able to see properly, she used to make it to office and back every day. Day-in and day-out.

I never understood why she had to work. For many years because of her work, I never knew her. The first eight years of my life was totally spent with my maternal grand-mother. After that for at least another decade various maid servants took care of me till my granny (whom I used to call Patti, pronounced Pa as in papa and tea, Pa-tea) came back to live with us. Our financial condition was never so comfortable that we could afford a life with a single salary. My father wanted her to work and so did my mom as she was a very independent kind of person. She was almost fanatical about her independence.

Today, she is 62. She can see very less. To demonstrate how much she can see, I would like you to close one of your eyes. Now on the second eye, close your fist and make a very small tunnel. As small as a you can see only two or three words in this book. With this, she wakes up at 5:30 am, makes breakfast, cooks for my father and even us (during weekends), watches Sun TV, enjoys good music, writes Sri Rama at least 100 times using a very powerful spectacle, reads magazines, paints and draws and goes about her life and takes care of my father and us. Her spirit is indefatigable and her zeal for life simply amazing.

I salute her!

A few weeks ago I was rambling with my younger brother on how justice is another form of revenge. He did not agree with me but was hearing me out. My soliloquy was completely based on the fact that if society would completely believe in the laws of karma and forgiveness, there would not be any need of our justice (inefficient anyway) system. The basis of the argument was, why do we seek justice? And from whom?

We seek justice when (we think) injustice is meted out to us. And what is injustice? It is generally an act that mostly according to prevalent social norms is considered unacceptable and unethical. But, would the same act be considered ethical and acceptable in another time and social setting? If yes, why is it wrong now and right later?

If each individual had a strong moral compass, would policing be required? Would courts and lawyers be needed? Imagine a state where every individual is 100% ethical. What would the police do in such a state? Which brings me to my favourite subject, which is ethics is inside each one of us, never outside us.

There are some fundamental laws that govern the physical universe. Similarly, there are some fundamental laws that govern the 'inner' universe. These virtues are mostly unchanging and permanent. Honesty, peace, non-violence, truth, forgiveness, restraint...(I could go on with this list) are all deeply programmed into each one of us and so are the opposites of these.

Now, the majority of beings in this planet live their lives adhering more-or-less to ethical covenants. Which is why we have fewer people in prisons and the rest outside (they could argue the opposite too!). But we can also see that in many countries or areas in our world this balance is tilting.

The moot question here is not what prompts a person to be unethical, but what does the victim do who bears the injustice of unethical behaviour? Does s/he plan revenge? Or does s/he fight for justice using the legal system of the land? Or does s/he pray for justice from the almighty. Revenge is wrong, while seeking justice is right? Why? Are they not the same? We want to see the 'other' man punished. We want him to suffer as we have. And that 'want' to see him/her being punished is just another form of revenge. One is not sanctioned by society and for the other entire legal systems have been created.

Revenge and justice are two sides of the same coin. What we need to learn is forgiveness. It takes immense power and capability to forgive those who have pained us or wounded us. It is not easy. If we learn to forgive, we do not need revenge, we do not need a legal system and we do not need wars. Who are we to teach others a lesson? That is His job profile and He does it best. Our duty is to realise, in all humility, that we are fortunate, that though we have the capability to do evil as anybody else, we did not do anything wrong and have lived a life as much as possible adhering to the laws of righteousness.

Today, in the Times of India, I read an article which was very similar to my ramblings. It talked about how James Bond in his latest film Quantum of Solace is trapped by his desire to seek revenge. His friend tells him before he dies, "The dead don't care for vengeance...forgive Vesper (Bond's girlfriend who betrays him)...forgive yourself...". Camille, the latest Bond girl, finally avenges the death of her family by killing the Bolivian general responsible, turns to Bond and says, "he is dead, what am I going to do now?" Her entire life and survival depended on this pursuit. She feels empty after the pursuit is gone, the goal no longer there. What would she now live for? Quite profound for a Bond movie.

The article says, "What about capital punishment, the power the state has given itself via the judicial system to take the life of a convicted murderer? Is that not a form of vengeance too and in complete disregard of the timeworn traditional concepts of atonement and forgiveness?"

When Chinese soldiers prepared to execute monks in a Tibetan monastery, the residents began chanting prayers. "See how they pray for their lives!" exclaimed one soldier. "Oh no, they are praying for your souls, asking God to forgive you for you are only obeying orders," said a local resident.

I told my brother why revenge is so popular in literature and cinema. It is because we all seek it but never get it. It is so elusive that we want to see happiness and satisfaction in the one who gets it, at least in fiction and celluloid. But at the end, we all realise that it is empty. And as the title of the article rightly said, there is No Solace in Revenge.

The last few days I have been smiling whenever I have thought of America. I must confess that it was due to the win of President elect, Barack Obama. There are several theories why Obama won. Visit cnn.com or bbc.com and you will find the world's greatest analysts tearing apart the campaign and giving you fantastic analyses of how the team did all the right things, recruited the right people, said the right things and maintained calm and composure even when poked by the media, people or by Senator McCain.

But, the real reason why Obama won was not because of all this. He won because of 'karma'. Let me explain.

I believe that like individual karmas, countries possess a collective karma. The good karmas of a country, gets it brownie points while the evil it does pulls it back. Notwithstanding the evil that America has perpetrated around the world, it has done a lot of good for mankind. More than that, the black people and the Indians of America have suffered for centuries and their pain and suffering has created a reverse effect for the whites who have predominantly been responsible for their suffering. This coupled with the fact that the white arrogance which permeates every action and thought has created a situation that they are now faced with a Black President set to rule them for the next four years at least.

What a turn of events!

Every country will face this as will every human being. What goes around, comes around. Evil cannot last and will be finally defeated. In case of countries, it takes hundreds of years for change to arrive but eventually it does and it WILL. The Chinese will see it, so will the Taliban. The laws of 'karma' are as definite and irrefutable as gravity or the speed of light.

I saw the way people were emotionally charged when they heard the news. People were crying, smiling, jumping, honking, dancing. Rarely has history seen a country transform itself in such a positive way. The last we saw this was when Mahatma Gandhi called for a non-cooperation movement against the British and the entire nation stopped for fasting and prayer.

Obama is a very positive human being. He seems 'connected' and it shows in his composure. You need that kind of composure when you are the Commander-in-Chief of the (supposedly) most powerful nation of the world. But more than his composure, I appreciate his humility. A humble President of the United States of America is an absolute winner simply because it is almost impossible to be humble in that position. It is an unbeatable combination. And that, above all, will push America and Obama ahead. Congratulations to the people of America and congratulations to you Sir! You are a hero, you know it, but you will not accept it, and therein lies your greatness.

Vote for change, they said. Maybe they should have said Vote for Karma. They were destined to win.

P.S. A few months after assuming office, Obama visited 10, Downing Street. Here he is shaking hands with a brother. A moment this policeman and history will never forget. 

A few years ago, while explaining to someone the meaning of life, I gave her the analogy of passengers getting into and out of a train. For the last six months, I have been travelling between Mumbai and Bangalore every month by train and this theory of mine has been confirmed. My theory was, that life is like a huge train and we are its passengers. Like a real train, we get into the cabins, travel and get out.

In a real train, when passengers join us at a station, we smile at them, after some time befriend them and then even share our food with them. Eventually they become good friends, we exchange contact details and we feel bad when they have to disembark. But, we bid them goodbye happily and continue our journey.

Why don't we do the same in Life?

Why in life do we expect everyone who joins us to stay with us till our destination station? Each one of us has a different station remember? We have to get down where we have to and continue our individual journeys on a different train or wait at the station. In a train, we never get attached to our co-passenger? We never beat our chest and promise revenge if somebody gets down at his/her destination. Sometimes even you may get down before the others. Then what?

Imagine how beautiful and simple life would be if we considered it a train journey. All the experiences that we garner like the scenery that flows past you while looking out of the window. Everything so impermanent. The landscape changes every few minutes. All the relationships like the fleeting acquaintances that we make with our co-passengers, knowing very well that their destinations are different from ours.

Every sentient being with whom you connect in life is just like a co-passenger who has been chosen to share your cabin for a few hours (weeks, months, years). Some passengers may even promise to travel with you to your destination, wherever it is. Thank them for their kindness but help them realise their true destination. Like in the train, every person is there in your cabin because of a certain reason. It is 'karma'. Enjoy their company and await their destination with enthusiasm.

I must also agree that some co-passengers do not behave very well. Some constantly fight for space, some throw their weight around, some do not wish to communicate, some talk all the time, some promise to be with you till your destination and while you are sleeping may take your stuff and go away with someone else. That's part of train travel. That's life. But, you cannot stop travelling by train because you met a few rouges along the way.

I am sure, out of 100 people you and me have met only 10 are rouges. The balance 90 have been good, considerate, dispassionate and great travelling companions. I like such co-passengers. Who gracefully join you in your cabin, enjoy the ride and gracefully get down at their station knowing very well that we may never meet again.

I look forward to many more such graceful co-passengers in my train journey.